Here I was then, single, young, actually THIN, for once in my life!!......happy as larry. I'd met this great group of girls through my sons school - they were just other young mums, some of them single, some of them not and we all became some kind of "gang"! Fridays it was cocktails in the garden (oh yes Dahling mwah mwah!!), Mondays it was coffee mornings round someone's house, discussing how the slimfast (or slimFART, as I used to call it!) diet was going and, best of all IMHO - Thursdays night - ladies night - down at the M20 nightclub.
Its probably quite hard to appreciate this, but i had never really hit the clubbing scene, or even gone out much - I was pregnant at 20, lived all my life in this quiet, tiny village on the Romney Marsh (there are NO nightclubs on the Romney Marsh) and i'd only been to one or two clubs in my lifetime. So there I was - me and my girlies, babysitter organised, dressed up to the nines, dancing down the M20 to all the eighties tracks and really thinking I was "it"...oh how I lived for those Thursday nights!!
One night im down there, to be honest pissed as a fart, as one is in nightclubs, and this tall, dark, v.good lookin guy comes over to me and starts chattting - in conversation it comes out that he is a policeman, so im feeling fairly safe with him (ive already checked out his badge, know what I mean ;0) and he takes my mobile number and asks if I want to meet him in town the next day for a lunchtime drink, I agree.......was so excited for the rest of the night, then didnt turn up the next day.....for the first and only time in my life I stood someone up.........and I felt really shitty......really, really shitty.......
To this day I dont know why I didnt go - nerves, I guess, whatevver........but he chased me and rang me and turned up at the M20 the following week - and I agreed to another date.......and I met him, and fell HEAD OVER HEELS.........KABOOM...................ALL the way!!
We dated and dated and I wouldnt sleep with him..........not coz Im a mean bitch (although I can be........;0).!!) but because he was such a gentleman about it all.........said he understood about my past and that he loved me and we could wait awhile, to paraphrase Janet Jackson.....
Anyway, one night after he had worked a late shift, he turned up at my flat at 1am (we had arranged this - he wasnt being creepy!) he looked all hot and sexy in his uniform and the rest, as they say, is history.............
We had the most wonderful year together - id never laughed so much, my son loved him, it was great...................then I did the woman thing and started asking him to stay longer than a night at a time.................hinting that a holiday together somewhere hot would be nice.......and it was a big no go with him......he didnt want to know.......we had row after row after row and then one night, during one of these rows, he turned around and said he couldnt go away on holiday with me and he couldnt stay longer then one night because ......( I know you KNOW whats coming.!) he was MARRIED
Ballon = burst. I was devastated - he kept phoning me and asking to see me and I wouldnt have any of it..............I didnt tell my girlfriends coz I was so ashamed.......for fucks sake, me, Mrs High Principles, had been shagging a married man - FOR OVER A YEAR!! (and I know I didnt know he was married, but that didnt really comfort me at all, no way Mrs......)
Back to the old routine then, M20 Thursdays, Cocktails Friday Lunchtime.........only it wasnt fun anymore............the sparkle had gone out of it all.........I was heartbroken, just in pieces. 911 happened and the world just seemed a fucking awful place to be, to be honest.
Then - just when life was slowly returning to normal - about 8 weeks later.......he turned up at my door - in his uniform and handed me yet another bombshell...............
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