He waved a set of keys in front of me and announced "I love you, ive left her......we are getting a divorce" He had rented a house in Sittingbourne ......lovely little place with a courtyard. So, we got back together.....
Now - remember the pot head that I nearly ended up dating?, well he ended up with one of the pivotal members of my girly gang, which caused a huge falling out between us - mainly coz I have a big gob and told her in no uncertain terms that he was not the sort of guy she needed in her life, so she "choose" him over me and because me and the pot head "had a history"???WTF??!!! she told me she didnt want me around anymore.......it was one of those huge girly fights that I still regret to this day.........she was an awesome lady and DID deserve better than him.....and I havent spoken to her since, and thats a shame, because I genuinley miss her....
Copper and I - we were happy - we proper dated at last...and I was so blinded, infatuated, in fact, by my love for this guy I didnt realise at first that all our dates centred around the pub.....and now, on reflection, I cant remember ever going anywhere else with him.......never the cinema, or restaurants (well, the day my son got taken in care we went to a restaurant, but thats another chapter). He proposed - at Priestfield, which was the home of my dads favourite team (Gillingham) He couldnt have got that more right - its holy ground to my family!! I was dead happy - bigg eff off Diamond, hunky fiance, my son loved him, I was still laughing a lot, still cosy in my council flat.......it was all good.
Of course, eventually, we did the couple thing - looked for a house together and settled in a rented 3 bedroom house in my home town of Ashford, it was only half hour drive for him to the police station and I couldnt believe my luck. Imagine this..........all the problems I had had and now I was marrying the man of my dreams, living in this gorgeous 3 bedroom detached house (DETACHED!! - and me having come from a council flat!)
Then, he got moved from normal police duties into CID - and nothing was the same after........he drank more and more and more, I was stepping over him to get my son to school in the morning because he had passed out on the floor in the lounge (or dining room, or wherever). One Christmas he went over the pub (naturally!) whilst I was cooking dinner - got back from the pub at about 12.30 (he had only been over there an hour or so...) and spent the whole of christmas dinner crying, curled up in the lobby sobbing (cant remember what about now - but it would have been trivial, like the fact that it was raining or something...) As usual with me, I handled it badly - I was convinced I deserved the "fairy tale" and not this pissed up copper who just seemed to hate me. So I grew to resent him more and more - im not proud of myself - I couldnt have been less supportive...........I was a crap girlfriend to him at this point, when he probably needed me more than ever.........
He went thru phases of things - sometimes my weight was "ballooning out of control babe" so he would take food off my plate at mealtimes to stop me "overeating". Once he was on a night shift, but came home ill and i'd had my friend "A" over from work - the nicest, sweetest lady you can imagine - we had done the girly thing - video night, playing around with makeup and had some wine. After she left, I went to bed, and copper came in and poured a can of beer over me, whilst I was in bed "seeing as you like drinking so much, you can spend the night with it". This led to us having bizarre nights out where he was pissed as a fart and I wasnt allowed to touch a drop - sometimes even a diet coke, because he worried it "might set me off on a carb binge....?"
At this point, I had left the old peoples home - the unsocial hours weren't condusive to the fiancee of an alcoholic policement - and i was working at a plastics factory, in Quality Control - it was a bit of a career jump, I admit, but I loved it. Most of the workers there were Gurkhas Wives, or ex-Gurkhas and I just want to say - please please, if you get the chance, add your support to them being able to stay in the country - they are the most wonderful, amazing people and they need our help right now because they are being treated appallingly - our government should hang its head in shame...........
One night, as co-workers do, I was invited on a works night out. "I cant" I said - "copper wont let me"........so we all hatched a cunning plan...........get a babysitter for the night, they said and go out with copper (they knew we would go out to the pub - where else??!!) and we will "bump" into you and you can introduce us to him and it will be fine......So copper and I went out to the Man of Kent in Ashford, bumped into my work colleagues and it was embarrassing..........he was rude, snotty, vile and awful to them - for about 10 minutes, then walked out the pub shouting that my friends werent "classy" and "if you would rather spend time with them than me..." He must have got a cab home, I had to walk - no money.......and when I got home he had locked the door and refused to let me in. So i spent the night on the doorstep, cold, worried out of my mind and beginning to hate him..........
I bet you dont believe he was THAT nasty to my colleagues in the pub..........well, he was........so bad, in fact, then when I took a sicky off of work the next day (which was unlike me) they called the police...........and next time I blog I will tell you about how this ultimately lead to my son being taken into care and how I got arrested...........
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